I woke this morning and felt like I could breathe deeper than I have felt like I could in months. I stretched from my fingertips to the tips of my toes. I felt pressure just give in to me, or maybe me to it. I stepped out of bed and my carpet felt softer somehow. I sat down on the floor and just got overwhelmed by pupper kisses and cuddles. They even seemed more at peace, probably because I am.

Transition is so hard and yet so fulfilling. I’ve always thought if it makes me feel uneasy I must be on the right path. It’s strange how uneasy feels positive and right. Whereas staying somewhere or with someone can feel comfortably uncomfortable and negative. We fight for something or someone for so long until it just breaks, we let go, or it just loses all meaning. Divorce…is painful, but not as painful as staying where you know it no longer serves either of you. Growth is pertinent to living a happy life. Growth is painful also, but it holds excitment and new adventures. I feel myself growing. I feel myself rediscovering. Stretching and reshaping this little lost girl into a woman again.

I remember falling in love and how every color seemed more vibrant. The air was sweet. Everything had more flavor. A hug made me feel safe. A kiss made me melt into an amazing fusion of electricity and calm. I am forever grateful for all of it. It reminds me of why being human is so beautiful, delicate, and empowering. Raw…savage…compassionate…every emotion just stirring inside, making me feel so alive and connected to everything. As the months have passed and I’ve started stitching back together, an old life with a new, I’ve realized that falling in love isn’t always with someone else. It’s with yourself. It’s penetrating a scar, it’s healing, it’s forgiving, it’s remembering to be gentle, it’s having an epiphany that love is everywhere. Love has always existed. We are amazing energy beings who are always falling in love. I fall in love every day, with a tree, with a sunrise, with words, with observation and awe of such energy, and with knowing another breath means another opportunity. I feel like the process of divorce is like clearing clutter that once meant so much and took you to so many places, created so many memories, finding clothes that used to fit you just right and something that once even resembled a canvas for a beautiful painting. But those places have all been discovered and you realize there is a whole new set of places to find. The memories are safely stored deep within you, the clothes you loved you just simply outgrew or changed, and the painting has been completed. Should you stop painting? Or should you hang it and start a new one. Love it, admire it, respect it, embrace it but accept it’s completed. I’m grateful for every memory…every moment. The whole process, falling in love, letting it go, finding love and finally surrendering to the end is just a new beginning… it’s all apart of me now. Every person…every moment. It’s just simply time to move on. Clearing it all away, cleaning the clutter but still being thankful for the time you had with it. Manifesting an open path, to plant new seeds, paint new memories, and add to your story. Our journies, our stories, those are all the only things that we truly own.